patience is a virtue

Here's the thing:
I had a self-revelation last night.
I am the most IMPATIENT person I've ever known to exist.
And you know what? I don't think it's entirely my fault.
Hear me out:

Ever since I was little, I have been surrounded by movies; movies about love, about success, about journeys, about anything! In these movies, the main character always (okay, usually) achieves their goal within 2-3 hours. Or 4 if it's LOTR. Because of the sped-up timeframe of movies, I have been conditioned to believe that my success in life and love will happen just as quickly.

May I just say, this idea is WRONG. Wrong, I tell you! 
Life takes time, people. It takes a lot of time. I mean...it's life.
I always used to think that I would find a wonderful RM by the time I was 18 or 19, he would adore the crap out of me, an we would fall in love, date for a few months, and get married. I mean, I'd heard fairytales from the older girls in my ward, or newlyweds in the plays I was in of how their best friend from high school came home from his mission, they dated for 2 months, realized they were meant to be together, and voila! Their Happily Ever After ensues.

Well, as these day dreams of the future have flown into the present, I am becoming very aware (seeing as how I'm 19 now) that I won't be getting married any time soon (i mean, maybe i will...you never know). I know that in order for me to find "the one" or to discover "where I'm supposed to be," I must be comfortable with who I am. However, this becomes difficult because the girls who were once the "older girls" are now my friends. My great friends, in fact. And they're all finding wonderful men, and developing wonderful relationships. I long for what they have--someone to love, someone who, at the end of a wonderful, fun evening you don't have to leave, but you can stay with them.

I know I will find the person I'm supposed to be with. I know I will. However, my romantic heart makes that very difficult. I long for the stories in the movies I'm so familiar with. Who's to say that it won't be that way? No one. The boy that I like right now could be my husband! But, the boy that I like right now isn't going to say, "hey! so, I've been thinking, after hanging out one-on-one a few times that we should REALLY consider getting married." Life doesn't work that way. He has his own life to live too. He needs to figure things out on his own time--for my benefit or not.

Still, sometimes I just wish Heavenly Father would give me a tiny glimpse into my future. Maybe a two-year timeframe for when I'll meet the right one. But, that would be too easy, and it would take the point out of this life--to spiritually and personally develop, learn, and discover new things. I personally think I'll marry someone I already know, but, then again...you never do know. I think it's easy to look at what someone else has and say, "I'm doing what I'm supposed to...why isn't that happening to me?"

Here's the answer: PATIENCE. Having patience that time will bring you everything you want is...well...it's faith. Faith and patience are so intricately interlaced that you can hardly tell the difference. Having patience isn't putting your life on hold and not letting things happen to you. You have to LIVE in order to live. Does that make sense? It does to me.

I've always told myself that, "the one who's THE ONE will be the first boy I don't worry or think a lot about." Well friends, that's absolute BULLLLLL. I'm a dreamer. A romantic. I'm always going to worry about boys, and that's that.

But, I know whoever he is, the right guy for me will come with a whole lot of patience.

Oh, and don't forget faith.